From a young age, we are made to believe that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness. It shows the other person that you have a soft heart and cannot handle any type of negative talk. The machismo and bravado you show in certain situations make other people believe you don’t have a heart. People treating you based on their skewed perception of you can impact your mental health.
Some healthy emotions are short-lived, while others are long-lasting. For example, a tiff with a colleague will last a day or two, making you feel annoyed whenever you look at them. The emotions swirling inside you will wash away once you immerse yourself in work. On the other hand, the loss of a loved one is something that stays with you forever. You might not cry at their funeral and put on a brave face because that’s what people expect from you.
In such situations, you are withholding emotions by not allowing yourself to experience the three components of emotion.
The 3 Components of Emotion
Can you be happy all the time?
If that’s your goal, know that happiness is fleeting, and you will eventually run out of things and reasons to feel joy.
Therefore, being happy all the time is misguided and overrated. Being happy with your job, relationship, and other miscellaneous things is all well and good. However, other emotions are essential and unavoidable.
Emotions give you information. They are cues that tell you how you perceive a situation and what you need to do to endure it. Let’s take fear as an example. Fear is neither a pleasant nor desirable feeling. Yet, it’s needed in life.
Fear activates our fight-or-flight response and pushes us to take action. Similarly, frustration tells us about the obstacles we face in life and gives us the power to come up with creative ways to cross them.
Think of your healthy emotions as a lens for interpreting information. Sometimes, happiness blinds us to the realities of the world. Therefore, non-desirable emotions have their place since they help us grow and learn.
Bottling up your emotions can detach you from your loved ones. You start to think that no one understands what you are going through or how you feel. This negative mindset can impact you on a mental and physical level.
Following are the consequences of shying away from your healthy emotions:
In conclusion, bottling up emotions will not do you any good. It can be challenging to express them, which is why you need to figure out the cause behind your emotion. If you feel you can’t talk to your loved ones about how you feel, seek help from a qualified therapist.
HerbEra offers a collection of wellness formulas for mental health in the form of capsules and herbal supplements. These focus on mood balance, stress, energy, anxiety, and other problems that people usually experience when they fail to express their emotions. To learn more about emotions and self-discovery topics, browse their blog. For more information, call (800) 683-9837 or check the Contact Us page on our website.
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Every living cell has walls that separate it from the surrounding world. The cell walls not only protect the cell from external dangers but also facilitate the internal processes of the cell.
"How is this relevant to me?" you might ask.
The moral is: there’s no such thing as a life without boundaries.
However, the cell walls also have small windows to the outside world. These doors are guarded, and if the visitor is beneficial, it opens them. If the visitor is dangerous, the door will remain closed.
In the field of psychology, the same principles are true.
Psychological boundaries are the understanding of one's own self as separate from others. These are also called personal boundaries.
Boundaries define a person, his capabilities, desires, feelings, and relationships with other people. If the physical boundaries of a person include his body, then the psychological boundaries define the space and sensations that separate him from other people.
A person feels comfortable in the world when he has boundaries that are normal and healthy. He easily communicates, enters into relationships, supports them and ends them, moves from place to place, finds a new job, gladly accepts an invitation to a party, or stays at home without remorse.
A person determines for himself at what level it is convenient and pleasant for him to communicate and whether he wants this communication or not. He can get close to people, and then move away if he feels that something is wrong in the relationship.
Without well-functioning boundaries, people experience significant problems in their daily life, in relationships with family and friends, work colleagues, etc.
Violation of personal boundaries occurs when a person neglects his own or another’s personal boundaries. An example of the former is a person who is not able to deny others a request, even if its implementation will cost him enormous effort and emotional stress. In the latter case, an example could be a person who consistently imposes on others with requests or stories, wanting to make sure that people are always ready to listen to him.
One of the first indicators of violated boundaries is a loss of strength, personal desires, and sense of self.
Often, when people's personal boundaries start to break down, a desire to build codependent relationships appears. A person tries to merge with someone, they feel the need to be a part of another person's life all the time. They lose sight of what’s interesting and important to them.
Their own boundaries are violated and therefore, they don't notice how they violate another person’s boundaries. This person will try to unnecessarily control the lives of others because it seems to them that they are unimportant and forgotten: "Sure, they have their own life, business, hobbies, but what about me?" When such people are left alone, they have to remember almost from scratch who they are and what they’re personally passionate about.
Markers that someone’s personal boundaries are being violated:
Here’s a simple exercise that can help you understand if your personal boundaries have been violated. Simply sit down and ask yourself three questions:
A person with healthy boundaries can clearly answer these questions, while people with broken boundaries are usually confused.
While our body cells naturally create healthy boundaries, we must learn how to create mental and emotional boundaries between ourselves and the world around us. And if you’ve been thinking that perhaps your personal boundaries need to be fixed or strengthened — it’s never too late to do so. Adopting a mindful attitude towards your emotional state and working with a psychologist will help.
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It's high time that we start treating mental health as one of our topmost priorities. We won't ask a child with a broken bone to walk it off; neither would we ever tell a heart patient to be tough it up. The severity of the mental disease is the same as any other physical disease.
To ensure that your mental health receives adequate care and attention, start making self-care a part of your routine. Here are some of the reasons why you need to prioritize your mental health and ways to do it:
We all have an inner voice in which we talk to ourselves daily. Take a few minutes every day to notice the tone of that voice. Is it positive or negative? Does your inner voice constantly remind you of all your failures, blame you for everything, or how you lack in one way or another?
If that's the case, you need to change that. If a negative inner voice persists, you can start losing your confidence; on top of that, the negative voices around you will have an even more lasting impact. It's not right for others to blame you, but it is especially wrong for that little voice inside your head to be so negative. The solution is easy. Every time your inner voice says something negative, stop, and change that voice to positive and uplifting.
If you work every day, worry about the daily chaos of lives, and are constantly aware of the rising crimes and diseases around you, it can take a toll. Constant economic and societal pressure can lead to stress and anxiety. These issues will never go away, but you can ensure that they don't affect your mental health with self-care.
Some of the best ways to self-care are to exercise daily, decrease your screen time, get adequate sleep, practice mindfulness, focus on positive thoughts, and connect with kindred spirits around you.
One of the best ways to take care of your mental health is to unwind every day. Develop a routine, clean your room, use fragrances, take a long bath, and use natural herbal tinctures to relax, encourage sleep, and balance your mood.
Staying aware of mental health helps you recognize when you are not feeling well. Recognizing that you are not okay is the biggest step towards mental wellbeing. Awareness will also give you the knowledge that you don't have to pretend to be okay and that seeking help and talking to someone is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Self-care and mental health awareness are two of the best ways to prioritize your mental health. What's more is that once you have learned to prioritize your own mental health, you will also recognize others in need of help.
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Imagine that you have a rare flower of extraordinary beauty. You are very fond of it and want to ensure it retains its luster for as long as possible. How do you go about providing the right care? First, you need to learn what kind of plant it is and what it needs to survive, along with how to protect it from harmful influences and provide the ideal conditions for growth.
We have a secret to reveal: just like that flower, we also need quality care in order to thrive.
So, what’s involved in taking care of a flower as valuable as ourselves?
There are two main areas of self-care: physical and mental. Each of them is important. Moreover, they are interconnected, so one is impossible without the other.
The morning ritual allows you to understand the coming day better. This article shares some useful tips to make your morning good!
Often dreaded, waking up is a defining moment of the day. It acts on your mood and motivation, and therefore on the day, you will spend on the day. By establishing a morning routine, you put the odds in your favor so that it goes as smoothly as possible.
Whether to take the time to do what you love or organize yourself, the morning routine will help you preserve your well-being and serenity. Here are some ideas for things to do to start the day off right.
The future belongs to those who get up early! In other words, setting the alarm clock at a decent hour will have a positive psychological impact and motivate you in your career! In fact, not only will you save time, which will be good for work, but you will also have the feeling that you have more control over your day.
If you're the type who forgets to drink water in the morning, you are missing out on something important. When you wake up in the morning, your body has gone eight hours without hydration. Therefore, start your day with drinking water as it purifies the body and helps keep its bowels healthy before meals throughout the day. Water is better than coffee at helping you wake up.
Plus, when you drink a full glass of water or two before ingesting caffeine or food, you allow your organs to cleanse themselves so they can function properly afterward.
Drinking water straight away also helps flush toxins from the blood, allowing your skin to regenerate. If you want healthy skin and healthy bowels, add water to your morning routine.
There's nothing like a few yoga exercises when you wake up to recharge your batteries for the day. You don't have more than 10 minutes in front of you. No problem! Chain two sun salutations by holding the dog upside down with five breaths, holding the candle position (Sarvangasana) with ten breaths, and sitting for 3 minutes with your eyes closed to meditate.
It seems very simple, and yet! Many people don't take the time to eat breakfast properly. By ringing your alarm a little earlier, you'll have time to prepare yourself a simple, balanced meal that will save you from mid-morning cravings. A cup of coffee is far from enough, so pair it with healthy but tasty products like cereals, yogurt or fruit.
Also, considering the shortage of time, it is recommended to integrate herbal supplements into your daily intake to fulfill your nutritional requirements. The best time to consume them is with breakfast!
When we wake up in the morning, we are sometimes stressed by the coming day. To limit this stress, you can list all the things you need to do and prioritize them. You will then have a clearer mind and know what to do. It is best to start with the most strenuous tasks and save the most enjoyable ones for the end of the day.
That's it! You are ready to have a good day!
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Of course, some of the poor memory problems have been resolved with modern technology. Reminders and alarms always keep us on our toes, ensuring we don't miss important meetings, birthdays or forget to turn off the stove. However, technology has yet to replace our long-term memories, and until that happens, how about we sharpen it?
Psychological studies have discovered numerous methods to improve memory. Here are some of the best ones:
The chunking method of improving memory was introduced by Bodie, Powers & Fitch-Hauser, in 2006 in their research study[1]. This strategy refers to organizing information into small and manageable bits. For instance, if you would like to verbally remember someone's phone number, you chunk it into 830-632-0051 instead of 8306320051. Once you chunk it, you repeat it, until your memory has retained the new information.
Body and mind have an interesting connection, especially when it comes to memorization. Did you know that our olfactory memory is linked to our sense of smell? It is one of the best memories ever. Just a whiff of baked goods can take us back to our grandma's house when we were young, and a perfume scent can remind you of an old friend. You can use this sense of smell to bring back memories. So, the next time you start to prep for your exams, introduce a scent in your study room and take out your flashcards.
Don't forget to spritz the same scent on your wrists right before the exams to trigger your memory.
If you have watched Silver Linings Playbook, you'd know how music can trigger memories (good or bad). This effect is called echoic memory. You can use it by playing music as you study. Music activates both sides of the brain, maximizing learning and improving memory.
Listening to music also puts us in a better mood and motivates us to start studying with our full focus and attention.
This method uses the information already stored in your long-term memory and relates the new information with it. For instance, your best friend is from New York, and that fact already exists in your long-term memory. Now you recently learned that the area code of NY is 212. In your mind, you relate this information with your friend and repeat. If you are successful, you'll retain information for life.
We have all used this method of memorization at one point in our lives, and it works. Using rhymes, acronyms, poems, and songs to learn complex theoretical facts is your safest bet. Mnemotechnics is essentially a pedagogical strategy that combines clues (often visual and sound) based on the learner's current knowledge with the new information they have to learn. This improves the retention of key information, making it easier to retrieve later.
In addition to psychology, you can also boost your memory using the gifts of Mother Nature. Memory boosting herbal tinctures are a great way to enhance your memory during your exams.
[1]Bodie, Graham D., William G. Powers, and Margaret Fitch-Hauser."Chunking, priming and active learning: Toward an innovative and blended approach to teaching communication-related skills."Interactive learning environments 14, no. 2 (2006): 119-135.Retrieved from https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-07075-002].
]]>Perhaps you have lost your enthusiasm and motivation because you feel that your work does not recognize your effort or because in your business, you spend more time trying to get clients than working with them. Identifying the problem is the first step in developing a strategy and getting motivated.
Do you want to regain motivation in your work, or is it time to make a change in your life? Be honest with yourself and look for the answer within yourself. Perhaps you need a "Tapetenwechsel" as they say in German, and change your job or type of business.
If so, you must seek help from a neutral person, for example, a Coach, to guide you in your professional reinvention process.
Although it is almost impossible to keep people who are considered toxic in our work and personal lives away from our environment, at least try to avoid them for a short time. You will notice how your mood changes and the motivation that kept you active returns to you.
Have you ever lost your motivation for what you were doing? If so, how exactly did you manage to get it back?
Make a list of the strengths and abilities that you put in place to achieve this and use them one more time. In general, if it worked once for you, it will likely work again. And if not, at least you tried, discard it and redefine a new strategy.
It is recommended to prioritize the things or activities that you have in mind. To do this, you must take a paper and list what you want to achieve in order. This way, you will get control of everything you want and should do.
People often leave the most challenging tasks for the end of the day, which is wrong. You need more energy for them so prioritize them. You keep losing your power the whole day, and that’s what keeps you getting dispirited. You can stay active and strong by adding herbal supplements to your daily routines, such as the natural tinctures, which are rich in nutrients and energy-enhancing organic herbs.
Be a fan of SMART goals and establish clear action plans to increase motivation and self-confidence. Run the priority list you created every day - only then can you commit to doing it. One thing at a time, do not rush to do everything at once because you will not be able to give importance to them. The more you get done, the better you will feel, fueling your motivation.
You can do a lot more to regain motivation, but this list is a good start. Also, keep in mind that If you keep feeling that your motivation levels are still low, you should try to get out of the box; that is to say, escape from the routine and ask yourself what is happening or what things led you to that state.
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You do not feel like waking up and heading to work. You feel heavier with the thought of going. You no longer feel like taking a shower to get to work, you can't stand your boss anymore, or you hate the smell of office furniture, and your only purpose in life is to reach the end of the month to receive your salary and pay debts. You are no longer happy with your work.
If that moment has come to you, it is time to see what is happening in your life and take the necessary measures to change it.
How did you get there? Was it the product of your decisions, or did you go with the flow? Did you take the job out of necessity?
Now ask, where would you like to be? Do you have the answers? Well, the answer is if you don't like the way things are, change them. You don't have to act like a tree.
Deciding on quitting your job to follow your passion is not easy, but you must keep in mind that if it will not help you achieve that goal you long for, it is useless to continue there.
Comparisons abound in life. People will tell you so-and-so did that, and it went badly.
The reality is that you are not that person. And they are not you. The only owner of your life is you. So turn a deaf ear and guide yourself only by what inspires you to follow.
Only you know what you want or need. As happens in some working relationships, a crucial moment comes when you have two situations: whether to save the situation or if it would be better to abandon it for your good.
Keep in mind that it is never too late to start. There is a vast list of famous people who began their successful careers "too late." Imagine the thousands of stories of ordinary citizens who succeed by turning their careers around! It is just a matter of saying, "I do." But, for that, you need to stay healthy and active, take good quality sleep and proper nutrients through your diet. You can also add dietary supplements to your daily intake for stamina and vigor.
There are difficult people everywhere who, at best, only stress you. Whether at your workplace you’re your personal life, such people create unmanageable situations and could affect your performance.
Identify the people surrounding you with negative energy: people who only speak but do not listen, who do not keep their commitments, criticize everything or the ones who always want to have the last word. You can try to talk to them privately and figure out the differences. But, if you feel like nothing works with them and that you always end up in a conflict, it is better to take your leave before it gets worse. Don’t waste your energy on such people.
Try asking these questions to yourself more often, and you will indeed find answers to solutions to most of the setbacks in your life. Remember, you have all the right to take your leave or refuse if you feel uncomfortable. It is not necessary to keep your comfort at stake to make things work out.
]]>Anxiety is an inherent part of our adaptive biology, life, and society. So, it is necessary to know what to do when it appears and manage it. Even if it is annoying or uncomfortable, it will be with us and, in many moments, inescapably. So the answer is: no, you can't eradicate it, but yes, you can combat it. This article shares with you the methods for dealing with anxiety.
When a person suffers from anxiety, either in a specific or generalized way, their energy is driven to reduce the symptoms or manage them more optimally. However, there is an important point that is not always worked on: prevention.
Knowing what to do or what routines are essential to maintaining will help you prevent anxiety from occurring, and if it does happen, it will do so at not so high levels.
Anxiety is often triggered by daily stress and improvisation in the face of events. It is essential to keep a schedule, plan appointments ahead of time, and spend a few minutes drawing up your action plan each morning.
Meditation is simply the practice of standing still and concentrating on your breath while letting your thoughts slip by. You can do it virtually anytime, anywhere. Take a deep breath, and in those peaceful five minutes, you will reduce stress hormones and rejuvenate yourself.
Meditation with other relaxation techniques such as abdominal breathing is a way to acquire a state of calm. Correct breathing is essential since it favors the transport of essential nutrients to the tissues and provides energy to the organs and muscles, and helps improve the functioning of the body.
Relaxation techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing, mindfulness, yoga, or meditation, can help you better channel your thoughts. Once you calm down physically and mentally, you will know how to act better on a day-to-day basis, and that anxiety that you usually feel will not appear.
The daily rhythm of life allows you to have just enough time to dedicate yourself only to obligations. However, it is important to get back to yourself, dedicate time to what you want to do, with or without company. It allows you to relax, disconnect and restart.
Essential oils play a huge role in manipulating mood as the scent has a connection to the brain, and certain scents can trigger a relaxation response.
Besides aromatherapy, herbal medicines have also proven to be effective in combating anxiety. Some of the best-known herbs with antistress properties are Angelica, Ashwagandha, Chamomile, Passionflower, Mistletoe, Bacopa, and Wild Lettuce. You can consume the infusion of these herbs by simply boiling the dried herb in water. Another more convenient way is to use the supplements available at herbalist stores. All these herbs are available in tinctures and capsules here.
Do not react when you have anxiety, and get used to feeling it without fear. We hope this article has helped you learn how to deal with anxiety and its symptoms and that you can do whatever in your life accompanied by anxiety.
]]>“Why do you want to be alone? But what about me — don't you love me?"
If your loved ones are offended, speak directly and honestly with them and explain what’s going on. Tell them why solitude is important to you and explain how many benefits you get from it. This will calm everyone involved in the situation: you will comfortably reserve the right to be alone, and your loved ones will leave you alone without worrying.
Being alone, we can look deeper into the essence of our thoughts and ourselves. Solitude provides a resource to reflect on the important things without distraction, to notice correlations that previously eluded us. And in general, to truly feel your depth — which is easy to lose in the whirlwind of daily events and communications.
Don't be afraid to be alone with yourself; remember, it can be a cozy and very enjoyable experience.
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The term "reflection" comes from the Latin word "reflectio", meaning "thinking" or "turning back".
Simply put, reflection is the ability to look inside our consciousness and evaluate our behavior and emotional reactions.
When we say that a person reflects, we mean that he focuses on and comprehends his own “I”. This allows you to compare yourself and your personality with those around you, to evaluate yourself critically, to adequately perceive and see yourself as other people see you.
Living in the crazy rhythm of our time, it’s important for us to find time to stop and think over our actions and get to know our own inner world.
With the help of reflection, we can:
As Albert Einstein said: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." And with the help of reflection, we can correct ineffective behavior and eliminate mistakes in our thoughts and actions.
If it seems like reflection is a terribly complicated concept, don’t worry — it’s really not. In fact, it’s just cultivating the habit of analyzing what is happening in your life. And if you haven’t adopted this habit yet, then it's never too late to do so.
So, here’s what we need to develop reflection:
However, reflection is still a rather energy-consuming exercise. Don't dig yourself up with your last bits of strength — this is more likely to bring frustration than any positive benefits. Also, reflection is not about scolding yourself for the mistakes and failures of the past; it’s about analyzing and accepting your own experience, which will help you to be a better and happier version of yourself in the future.
The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates considered reflection to be one of the means available to a person for knowing and improving himself. The ability to critically examine one's thoughts and actions differentiates people from other creatures — making us the highest beings in the evolutionary chain.
It is this ability that allows all of us to move along the path of progress and become better versions of ourselves.
How does it work?
The bystander effect is a psychological phenomenon, the essence of which states that the greater the number of people who have witnessed an emergency accident (car crash, crime, or other), the less likely one of them is to help the victim. And vice versa: the fewer witnesses around, the more likely that someone will help. This can be explained by the diffusion of responsibility - the phenomenon when responsibility for an act is distributed among all members of the group. As a result, the level of responsibility of each individual becomes significantly lower than if they were alone.
Historical example
This effect was first described by two American social psychologists, John Darley and Bibb Latane, in 1968. Their research was inspired by an incident that happened in New York four years earlier.
On the evening of March 13, 1964, Kitty Genovese - a resident of the Queens area - was assaulted and died as a result. The police found that at least a dozen people witnessed certain episodes of the attack, although they didn't realize how serious the event was. Most of them were convinced that the screams were a common quarrel between spouses or the ramblings of drunkards.
More people - less help
Interested in this case, John Darley and Bibb Latane conducted a series of experiments to study in more detail the behavior of people who witnessed someone in trouble.
For the experiment, students were invited to special meetings to discuss their problems and experiences. At each meeting, there was an actor who began speaking and after a few minutes, pretended to have a seizure. The experimental groups differed in the number of participants: the actor could be one-on-one with a single participant, or there could be three or six people in the group.
Scientists noticed that in cases where the "experimental" participant was the only witness to the "seizure", assistance was provided to the victim in 85% of cases. If there were two witnesses, 62% of cases provided help, and if there were five - only 31% of the cases offered assistance. Also, the number of witnesses influenced how quickly help was provided: the fewer people, the faster they helped.
And so it turns out: everyone thinks that someone else will help, while the victim is left alone with their trouble. Therefore, when a person needs help, don't expect someone else to provide it - even if there are plenty of other people around.
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